After you have a baby your body really isn’t the same. It has become residence to your baby for 9 months inevitably it’s always bound to change in some way! You go through the journey of pregnancy & birth you then go through a journey of discovering how to love yourself.
After my c-section, I really struggled to glance at myself in the mirror. Towards the back end of my pregnancy, the fear of my stomach drooping was ripe. Whilst I was in hospital I absolutely despised sitting on the toilet & looking down at my stomach as it was so swollen it looked worse than I had visualised. It wasn’t until I got home & used our shower I truly had the shock of my body. Our bathroom has a mirror opposite our bath so there was no running away. Thankfully I had Ant with me as I required a lot of help in those early days & I just cried so badly. My body felt like an alien to me.
Having Ant on hand really did help as he just picked me right back and told me how beautiful I was. The next step was then looking at my scar for the first time which I really worked myself up about. I got Ant to take a picture and show me as Ant looked after my wound for the first few weeks in all honesty. Again, I sobbed a lot as my scar at that point was a lot longer than most due to the complications I had. But again Ant was the sole reason for how I’ve gotten to the point I have now. He just made me feel so much better about myself, held me when I cried and picked me right back up.
It’s a difficult journey to go through. Your hormones are at the top of their game and your body doesn’t look like it’s yours. Everything swells a lot your bump is in the process of going down and you feel very vulnerable at this time. It’s taken me 6-8 weeks postpartum to start the self-love journey and truthfully it’s still shaky now. I haven’t begun the process of getting back into shape yet but it’s at the forefront of my mind. As a mummy, you rarely find time to eat let alone exercise so it is a very tricky journey to go down.
When you’re feeling rubbish about yourself the core thing to remind yourself of is the fact your body is actually so extraordinary. It grew a little human! That’s not something that can be ignored and underappreciated by any means. Yes, your body is a new version of itself but that version is truly courageous in what it’s gone through. Whether you gave birth naturally or by c-section your feelings are valid either way. Both are significant things to go through and will leave scars in their own ways. C-section ladies your scar in the first couple of weeks commonly tends to be quite long but it does shrink right down. Mine is the average-size scar now. But your body was a house to your baby and that is vital to remember!
For me now, it’s about starting the operation of getting into a better shape. Not because I detest how I look but more from a physical and health point of view. I want to feel good when I’m walking around not out of breath and I want to drop a few dress sizes. I’m lucky to the fact I haven’t actually gained any weight on the scales from the pregnancy. But I wasn’t comfortable with my weight prior so it’s an excellent time to get shedding a few pounds. I love my body now I think it looks like a mummy’s body and that’s something I’m proud of. My body grew my baby girl the love of my life and that’s something incomparable!
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Ladies, it’s a journey it may take days, weeks or months but it’ll be alright. Let your emotions out don’t hold them in crying when you need to but always remember your body is simply the most magical thing. It’s been through 9 months of growth and change to nourish your baby and that’s something remarkable. You are beautiful even if you don’t feel it right now you are!
Keep smiling and admiring your body! We’ll speak again soon x