This really did earn a blog post in itself. Our journey with Fetal Medicine started at just 13 weeks and finished at 34 weeks. It really was quite the experience to say the very least. Before we get to our birth story let’s get this area of my pregnancy out of the way!
TW – sensitive topics are discussed throughout.
We had our first appointment just a short two days after our initial NHS dating scan where we learned that our baby had a 1 in 3 chance of having Down Syndrome. It was a very sharp turnaround on the appointment front which then made us feel this was bad like things weren’t alright. So, we headed to our appointment the scan began and the consultant scanning me unexpectedly stopped and was like “It’s not moving” I immediately assumed it was my baby & my worst nightmare came to life. I responded to her and she then giggled at me and told me “I’m talking about the air con” whilst pointing up. Let’s say I felt vulnerable at this point as it was but then on top felt almost humiliated and even worse than I did, to begin with. Once the scan was up we were given the overall results which were the fluid had risen even more and we’d need a cardiology scan around 18-20 weeks. At this point they went on to make it incredibly apparent we probably wouldn’t make it to that point as it was “easier to cancel an appointment than make one” is what we were repeatedly told in the room. At this point, I opted for the NIPT blood tests which is more assurance of whether or not our baby has Down Syndrome. We were taken into a little room with those nice sofas and tissues you know the “bad news” kind of rooms. To be continually advised on an abortion. I’m not talking about the once it was said but numerous times and was VERY pushy. To which we both were exceptionally clear that it was not for us. The following day I received the phone to let me know the NIPT results came back as also high risk but all this was JUST a “screening” The abortion was very much on the cards still and I had 3 days to make a conclusion and inform them as they could book me in that week. To which, again I made it very evident that wasn’t a choice for us as we knew our girl deserved a fighting chance and the more we enlightened ourselves on Down Syndrome the less frightening it became. Our interests always lay with Liara having the best quality of life and there was never any indication to us she wasn’t going to have a good one at that and thankfully we weren’t wrong either. I understand and respect an abortion is the only option for some couples but it wasn’t for us.
Following that appointment, I felt I couldn’t face that specific hospital again I was truly traumatised to say the very least. So, I requested a move over to Birmingham for the next few heart appointments. To be frank it was the best decision I ever made. We had the head of cardiology and had a much nicer experience. The cardiac journey is shared amongst my pregnancy journey which you can read HERE.
It came to the point from a cardiologist’s point of view we were in the clear and needed discharging from Birmingham and sent back to Coventry as Liara was poorly enough for them as they were a high-level department for the poorliest of babies. So, it was bittersweet it was a relief she wasn’t exactly poorly but also stressful to know I had to return to Coventry. Upon the referral back I precisely mandated to not see that consultant again due to what happened. Thankfully my wishes were heard and we headed back and had two of the loveliest consultants across the two different appointments. Our first appointment was great up until the point she sent us off to Fetal Wellbeing to begin our two weekly CTG scans to then call us back to notify us that actually we had a high risk of having a stillbirth. To me, it felt weird to call us back into the room to inform us of this if it weren’t likely to happen to us. That then set me off for the night ahead which was awful. Our final appointment was much more optimistic where we met someone new again and made a plan for our birth. During this appointment, we were even surprised with a 4D scan which was really emotional & we were gladly discharged again!
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The first appointment truly did set me up to dread these appointments and every other in between. I’ll be honest about the fact that the appointment has truly left a lot of scars mentally. But the following appointments were all so promising. The team at Fetal Meds made the perfect call on the delivery timeframe for Liara if we had gone over I truly don’t believe either of us would be here today. So, if you are someone who’s heading to this department for the first time please don’t be put by my initial experience as there are some truly tremendous teams within this area that deserve a lot of recognition too.
Let’s catch up again soon x
